🎄Delayed post....Wrote this on Christmas morning 2022, however, the overarching message is still the same. I hope that it blesses you, although post-the Christmas holiday season...
Being without my mom and dad every day, but especially at Christmas, is one of the toughest experiences of this journey. Everything about who I am---where I evolved to, and where it all started is because of their foundation, their presence, and their selfless love. Celebrating the most important birth that will ever occur, without their sweet physical presence, pinches my heart and painfully penetrates my soul to its core. Spiritually, I feel their presence, but grieving the loss of them is still an ongoing battle...
Since June 9, 2013, managing grief has been a balancing act, no doubt! It is so complicated, sometimes feeling like the gears of a fierce, erratic roller coaster ride. Filled with pain, memories (good and bad), laughter and gratefulness, the grief is a slow drip that rolls. It glides so methodically to a place of surrendering all of those emotions to God. I can't handle it on my own, but there isn't any doubt that He can handle it. There isn't any doubt that He is the best manager of all things. There is no doubt that He is the ultimate architect of a beautiful masterpiece, a mosaic of life, love, legacy, and loss.
Conversing with The Father, it all lands in the lap of a huge exhale--a deep sigh transforming to a major release of the recycled 'g' word---grief. This has become a necessary action for me to walk into surrender, exhaling the emotions that could soil the things, relationships, or the experiences that I am so grateful for. Nope, I will not take for granted one moment of the privilege that I have through God's grace to do so. The presents are much more than boxes or bags beautifully wrapped to be torn or crumbled into pieces of abstract art. It is His presence that gives me joy! It is His gift of allowing me to be in the company of those that I love the most. It is the story of Jesus' birth that is foundational to the true JOY of Christmas.
So, enjoy and soak in the love of all of the people who are celebrating with you, whether in person or virtually. Know that having these people in your next year plans are just that...your plans, but may not be God's. Love them while they are here, unapologetically and intentionally. In the beauty of that, we must NEVER forget the blessing of the wonderful reason--- the most miraculous maternal story. It is what the Christmas holiday season represents. Our heart, mind, spirit, and soul should be wrapped up in Jesus each day that we are blessed to experience life on this earth. The blessing of CHRISTmas is each day of every year.
I am grateful for this life! Let's continue to pray for those who are missing family and friends---for whatever reason. 🙏🏽 💙💜
Peace & Blessings,