On this Sunday morning, my heart is heavy and tears are intermittently flowing. I’ve prayed a few times, even actually walked my Khloe with a cup of coffee in hand…Trying to soften the blow and clear my head after hearing last night that we had lost our courageous warrior, Janelle.
The tears are symbolic of sadness, love, family, laughter, pride and yes, guilt. I’m sad because of my love for her, and although I didn’t see her often, I will miss her. I’m sad because we’ve lost family, someone who we all loved so dearly. I’m sad because I’m remembering her smile, and how she made us laugh. I’m sad because I’m reflecting on how proud I was of her. You see, she had the strength and courage of a lion!!! She had this vividly on display for the world to see. Being diagnosed with Leukemia, as a little girl, she had to endure a lot at such a young age. I’m sad today because I’m feeling kind of guilty. I’m owning this guilt because on Sunday morning, February 19, 2017, I realize that I didn’t take the time to remind her that I loved her 😦 It’s too late…Should’ve taken the time.
Yes, we’d see each other at family events from time-to-time, especially when our cousin, Keith (Buck) and family put on those famous Cherry Family Gatherings in Richmond, VA. I always kept up with what was going on with her from my mom or on Facebook (FB). I’d make random comments on her FB posts, encouraging her when she’d have those rare low moments, etc., but never really took enough time to remind her of how much I loved her and admired her spirit. It’s too late…Should’ve taken the time.
Pictures on FB and memories have been flowing of our angel, Janelle, but a particular one captured the spirit of the woman she was. Didn’t take but a second for a big ole smile to appear on my face, but then the tears began to spring forth again. It was a picture of her dancing, clearly showcasing her free spirit and love for life. She was ALWAYS the life of the party! Lol. Her spiritual meter never stayed on Defeat! If the needle flickered any, it didn’t take much to get it set back on Victory! And as I sit here, awaiting surgery in a week, myself, I’m reminded of what she had to endure. I’m reminded of how long she chose to fight. I’m reminded that she faced her challenges head-on. I’m reminded that Janelle was the epitome of strength that is a testament to her faith and the God she believed in. Sadly, I’m reminded how much I really love her, but don’t remember the last time I told her. It’s too late…Should’ve taken the time.
I know you’re in Heaven, Janelle. As I’m sure you have everyone there cracking up already, and telling them about your family, you probably won’t even mention your struggles or any of the challenges that life threw your way. I’m smiling, imagining what you might be saying to those angels, though… smh 🙂 When you take a few minutes to rest, and stop cutting up, I hope that your heavenly ears hear this…. I’m proud of who you are, and what you’ve meant to our family. And yes, I love you, lil cousin!
TCV family, Take a moment to let people know that you love them. Don’t miss an opportunity, then have to carry these ‘salty’ words in your spirit — It’s too late…Should’ve taken the time…to say, I Love You!
“The trouble is, you think you have time.” ~ Buddha
Peace & Blessings & Love, Lisa B