Beating The Beats

I believe faith meets purpose and healing through telling our stories. Whether it's a song, an instrument, spoken word, artistry of any sort, or even how we love on people....it all speaks to tell a story of who we are, where we've been and in some cases, where we don't want to go back to. In this case, on this beautiful Sunday November morning, this story needed to be told, as it may speak life to someone's similar situation....


I am a sucker for a good deal! Moreover, I'm pathetically suckered by a great deal.  Sale and Clearance are my close friends. Thumbing through the latest sale items on my Target app, I found a fantastic deal on Beats. My daughter had previously gifted me a pair of the earbuds version, and they are wonderful, but seeing these, I thought I'd give them a try. So, I purchased them at 50% off the regular price. Testing them out, they were absolutely amazing. So much so, I asked my husband if he'd like a pair as an early one-year anniversary gift. Made sense...he loves music and listens to lots of sermons. Not wanting to waste money, I asked him to test mine out to make sure that they would work for him. He researches everything, so it was important to make sure that it fit the mold for his soon-to-be researched specs. Ha.


Well, he tried them. He loved them. Problem is, he loved them so much, that for one of the first times in our relationship and marriage, he actually tuned me out, almost completely, but definitely consistently. He was zoomed in on the Beats experience. It even went as far as him reminding me that he was listening to music when I tried to have a conversation with him. Wow....that struck me foul! We always communicate. We take time and make time to converse with each other about everything. But today, I felt unseen, unheard, and flat out ignored! This Cherry-seeded girl was 100% "salty" now. It's hard recovering from the "salt" of a Cherry girl 😂, and any fiery-spirited woman. It's not always on showcase, but when it hits the stage, whew chile! In this case, I said my piece, then shut down like a cinematic transformer for the rest of the day...smh


Operating in silence, I sulked first, prayed, and took time to sort through the grains of "salt." Hours later (into the next day), the ice was broken. We talked, and it was a "spirited" conversation for sure. We dissected what happened and how it made me and us feel. Turns out, what was meant as a test drive of a gift of love and celebration had turned into temporary torment. What we realized is that something that innocent can be a tool that the enemy uses, skillfully, to separate, to soil, to sow division in our relationship. We knew that if those headphones had not entered our Saturday space, our weekend would've looked much different. I'm now reminded of how much I love watching him being focused, studying the Word, listening so intently to sermons, writing, feeding his love for sports. Maybe ole girl had been a little more needy than usual---all in "chatty Patty" mode.


Oftentimes, we don't realize how the most unassuming things and simple practices become behaviors that serve up toxic synergy in our relationships. It may not be some cool headphones, but it may be video games, TV, cell phones, social media, sports, etc., that need discipline when it comes to making our significant other, our spouse or our children feel our physical, mental, and emotional presence.  No one wants to feel unseen, unheard, not valued, and ignored. It may not be intentional, but it certainly inflicts....


As for our household, we have recovered from the unintentionally poured "salt." Those Beats didn't beat us! 😊 We're not returning the pair that I had already ordered for him either, as the Mr. suggested. We will both use ours, and enjoy the sound, the vibe, the serenity, and the solitude---in moderation, respectfully. We will continue to prioritize and stay in prayer about what's important to us--individually and as a couple. Lessons of love and marriage....🙌🏾


Peace & Blessings,

Lisa C-S

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