*This post was started days ago in the beginning days of the George Floyd death in Minneapolis. I was so angry when my thoughts met my phone’s keyboard…No, basically livid! As each day passed, I revised this post several times. Why?…Because my initial thoughts were driven so much by anger and years of frustration with racism and injustice that it was scary. The words would have unleashed a flury of emotions resulting from my own experiences as a black woman, which didn’t even seem fair because another black person had been killed; another black man’s life had been stripped away as if his life meant nothing. As I busied this last week with other things, my mind kept sending my heart back to a Bud post that I plan to publish later, ‘Help folk to heal, without hurting them to heal yourself.’ God knew I’d need that, so here’s my ‘now’ version….
As I’ve watched ‘the video’ and news coverage surrounding the senseless death of yet another unarmed black man, the overall sentiment began as extreme anger…just sick and tired of it all! Those emotions later settled into pure sadness.😢 Sadness regarding the name that I’m speaking, George Floyd! Yes, the man who is described as a family-loving gentle giant, and mentor—the now deceased, George Floyd!
It’s sad that we, black folk, are still having to defend our worth, and seemingly, our existence as people of color. It’s sad that we have to sort through the anger, disgust and disappointment while folk look for ANY angle to label these acts of prejudice and hate as something else. It’s not something else. These incidents are products of systemic racism and disregard for the blessing of human life—not relating to everyone, but folk with the hue of melanin-colored skin. It’s sad that we’re seeing the symmetry of fogged windows with very low visibility, as this is otherwise unacceptable behavior. It’s sad that millions of people watched footage of a person being murdered (yes…murdered), ironically by someone paid to protect and to serve, who clearly appeared to enjoy being the Grim Reaper…Smh. This man actually had a ‘superiority’ smirk on his face while delivering Mr. Floyd’s last breath. It’s sad that other officers participated in some way—just standing by, as if they were watching an animal being slaughtered for market. Sadness. It’s time for change!
Once more, it’s so sad that some (not all) of our sisters and brothers of other races are, seemingly, wrapped up in the ‘thunder of silence’. They’re not saying much of anything — Do they just not want to have the conversation? Do they think that our passion, anger and anxiety regarding this won’t permit us to have a civil discussion? Are they leading us to believe that they’ve turned a blind eye to clear views of racism? Well, hopefully they’re praying in this mode of silence. Question is, how is it that discussing anything else is so easy, but not this? Why is that? Maybe, it’s time to hear something like, “I’m praying with you for change. I’m praying that we begin to recognize what people of color might be going through. I’m praying that we take time to figure out how to unite on this issue, and not dismiss it as, It’s not our problem, because it’s everybody’s problem to repair.” Hear my heart, it’s as simple as a genuine conversation to ease emotions, and START the bridge of repair… like the three words that I received recently via Messenger, “I love you….God forgive us.” Those words warmed my spirit. It’s well past time to think about things differently—to try to understand our pain, talk to us for a better understanding of our cultural differences, speak out WITH US on injustice, show compassion, show some love or show love in a different way. Maybe I’m feeling the remnants of this quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
Sadly, we’ve watched the coverage of needless looting, and destruction of property carried out by some protesters this past week….shameful! I’m sickened that the message of the full-bodied bold, nasty taste of racism is diluted by the ignorance of these acts. How in the world can folk think this helps the problem? It only further exacerbates the negative imagery of who we are as black people, even though, clearly, the looting has been diversely perpetrated. I don’t condone ANY of these acts, however, I still can’t fathom that people are more disturbed and having more to say about looting vs loss of life! There should be more outrage over the murder of this unarmed black man—A murder that we got to see countless times; A murder in which we watched and heard a human soul begging to breathe. Folk should be enraged by all of the NUMEROUS killings of blacks by cops… ones in which an assumed weapon is a $20 bill, a jog, a hoodie, skittles, single cigarettes, a couch, etc. This is not new! I mean, it’s pretty obvious that the suspicion of any ALLEGED crime takes a backseat to race, if you’re black. Pure Sadness!
I’m so “over it!” It’s time for REAL CHANGE. While we wait, I find solace in the scripture, “Let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” ~ James 1:6-8. In that, I am asking God to heal and deliver. I’m asking him to heal: the nation, our communities, our cities, our state, the world, families, relationships, hatred and the divide created by it. I’m asking Him to heal and deliver us. I’m asking God to hear our hearts and our voices and I pray that we hear each other. As this scripture reminds me to ask in faith and to believe, I’m doing just that. 🙌🏾 I don’t have the answers, but we certainly need to pray and vote; vote and pray. God has the answers, so we move as He guides us. He will be exalted!
Praying that we become US (United Souls) in love for one another. ❤ Prayers and virtual hugs for the family and friends of George Floyd. Prayers also for everyone peacefully protesting to bring about much-needed change to heal the years and years of brokenness that the world is getting to see now. Sad that it took the sacrifice of George Floyd’s life to be the catalyst. Yes, George Floyd–a son, a father, a brother, a nephew, a cousin, a friend— speaking his name. Also, I ask God to change the hearts of those who are looting and violent (cops too), as it is tarnishing the true message and piercing screams for deserved equality.
Peace & Blessings & Love For ALL,
~A proud, unapologetically bold-spirited, black woman, thankful for who and how God made me! He makes no mistakes!~